Traditionally, this is marriage month in America. Marriage is honorable everywhere, of course. But when and where did it start? Is it an American custom? Chinese? A Catholic institution? Islamic? Well, we are glad you are with us. And if this is the month of your marriage, congratulations to you.
Greetings to you, my friend. Say, it is good to have you in our Bible study In Search of the Lord's way to become a Christian and to live like one. Yes, yes, yes, we believe the Bible is God's only "instruction manual" for becoming and being a Christian-- the best person you could possibly want to be. You will not find a better way, my friend, than the Lord's way. Try it. I think you will like it.
June is the month of weddings in our country. I thought this would be a good time to study some of what the Bible says about "marriage." So we are. No! Oh no, we can't cover all the Bible says about it in one short program, but we will get the essence of it.
We will title the program Marriage Is Honorable, so if you would like a free CD or audio cassette tape or a printed copy of it, you should ask for it by that title. And mail your request to In Search of the Lord's Way, P.O. Box 371, Edmond, OK 73083, or by e-mail to searchtv@searchtv.org. Or, you might prefer to pick up the telephone and call us. Our toll-free telephone number is 1-800-321-8633. Of course, it is in our website also, www.searchtv.org, in printed form, also video, audio streamed there. And Ken Helterbrand is now going to lead us as we sing, and then I will be back.
We are reading today from the last chapter, the concluding remarks in the book of Hebrews. And in these concluding remarks the author gives us a number of sundry and very brief exhortations to some things. Please notice while we read. “Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels. Remember the prisoners as if chained with them, and those who are mistreated, since you yourselves are in the body also. Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Let your conduct be without covetousness, and be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. So we may boldly say: The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” And that is the reading through verse 6. Now let’s go to God in prayer. Holy and righteous God, our heavenly Father, we come to You now in the name of Christ our Savior to thank You for the arrangements that You have given us and that we cherish so much as family. It is the support we need in building the morality and the integrity of our present society. And it supplies for us the greatest measure of happiness and security that we have here upon this earth. We pray your blessings on every good family in America today, as well as those that will be formed by marriage this month and always. And we pray Your blessings likewise upon those marriages that are in distress today. Help those people and lead them in the right way so that they can restore peace and harmony in their home, and save their families by living together in peace with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen!
Certain words in our vocabulary have very special meaning for us. "Family" is one of them. Even in those instances when someone's family life is, well let’s say, less than perfect, and most of them are less than perfect because after all we are human, still our family ties are very dear to us. They are probably our greatest single source of happiness in this world, unless it would be the relationship that Christians hold in fellowship with Christ. Studies among businesses and business executives have found that among both men and women, the major factor of success is "a happy home life." I suspect that doesn't surprise us now, does it?
From as far back as we can go into the history of man, family has always been important to us. The Bible takes us farther back than any other document. And in the Bible, when we are introduced to someone, very often that introduction includes the person's parentage. For example, a way back in Genesis 11th chapter, verse 29 it is said, "And Abram and Nahor (you know, of course, they were brothers) took them wives; the name of Abram's wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor's wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah." Sometimes it is the mother's name that is given. For example-- and this has a little personal interest to me, personally of course, in 2 Kings chapter 15, verses 32-33 the Scripture says, "In the second year of Pekah the son of Remaliah king of Israel began Jotham the son of Uzziah king of Judah to reign. (Now that would have been in 758 BC.) Five and twenty years old was he when he began to reign, and he reigned sixteen years in Jerusalem. And his mother's name was Jerusha, the daughter of Zadok." Jerusha was my grandmother’s name. No, no, now, not this Jerusha; I am not that old. But, my grandmother Lyon was named Jerusha. I never knew her because she died before I was born. But, in this instance the king's mother was mentioned in the family lineage; and I thought that I would just mention that example instead of one of the many, many others that I could have.
God is the architect and the founder of the family. He joined the very first man and woman together in wedlock and declared that for all time husband and wife are one flesh (Genesis chapter 2, verse 24), meaning they were to be inseparable-- one man, one woman until they are separated by death. When Jesus was here in His earthly ministry some people asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? And He answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19, verses 3 to 6).
You see, the Divine Architect designed the family-- number one, for the birth and rearing of children; number two, to prevent sexual immorality; number three, for the happiness and pleasure of the married couple; number four, the animals would mate promiscuously, but men and women were to marry because you see, they are different. They are made in God's image. Their sexual relationship would be monogamous, and they would be responsible creatures, responsible for the physical, emotional, intellectual and above all, the spiritual needs of that family. In the family, children would receive their first lessons in love and devotion and loyalty and purity and responsibility and honesty and integrity and character, and all things else. As the heads of the families, fathers are divinely charged with the responsibility of bringing up their children in the teaching and the admonition of the Lord, and that is in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4.
By faithfully discharging that duty; by teaching those principles and precepts the family would be as God designed it in the beginning, the cornerstone of decent and productive and prosperous civilization wherever people would live together in peace and tranquility. Decent families would be the support of the nation everywhere it was.
But, what happened? Something has gone awry with the American family. I don't have to tell you that. Almost any newspaper or magazine article you read today has something to say about the failure of families of America. One article I read recently said the U.S. is the world's leader in divorce rates, teen-age pregnancies, single parent families, abortions and violent deaths among the young people. Well, what has happened to us? Sociologists and psychologists have their answers-- and their solutions. But since we have already seen that family is a biblical subject, suppose we just use our time looking at the problem and solutions from a biblical perspective, what do you say?
I am convinced that the problem is the result of widespread disregard-- perhaps even contempt for biblical teaching-- about many things-- and particularly about the family. Therefore, the solution is not simply more and better communication between troubled spouses, husbands and wives spending more time together, developing common interests, saying "I love you" more often and maybe with a little more meaning. Well, those things are all fine and they are important, but they don't get to the heart of the problem. They will be resolved; they will take care of themselves, if we can get to the heart of the situation. It is the absence of something more sturdy and foundational than all that that is causing the break-up of the families today. These things are more aspirin treatments of a malady that deserves more serious treatment than they are. Therefore, instead of so much counseling and marriage seminars, the solution is more teaching and preaching and heeding the word of God, not just about marriage, but about God, who He is; about the Bible being His inspired word, about applying the wisdom of God to our lives, and those things. I am talking about just the fundamentals of faith on which we build our lives. Call it "doctrine," if you like; there is nothing wrong with either of those words, "fundamentals" or "doctrine." They are good words. They are what is lacking in the families that are breaking up. The Scripture says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding," That is Proverbs chapter 9, verse 10.
We must tell the people that it takes three to make a lasting and good marriage-- a man, a woman and God. People simply cannot ignore or even scorn God in their marriage and expect to live under the canopy of His blessings, friend. Just can’t be! Knowing that God is the author of marriage and the family, surely the wise thing to do is to study His instruction manual, the Bible.
The rejection of the divine origin of the family and the divine wisdom in the biblical arrangement is another principal cause of the breakdown of the American family. Modern thought sees the "one-man-for-one-woman-for-life" concept of marriage and the family as too rigid, too male-dominated, therefore inappropriate for the modern age. These pluralists cherish the idea of a family, but they want more choices than what the Bible offers in family styles. So they have come up with a number of what they call more flexible family types such as never married mothers, single-parent families, post-divorce families, cohabiting couples, gay and lesbian marriages and families, and such like; all of that which are just simply not stable, friend. In times of stress they don't stay glued together. They are like a flimsy cardboard house that is beautiful from all appearances, but quickly collapses or topples in a strong breeze. I am reminded of the Holy Spirit's words in 1 Corinthians chapter 1, verse 25: "The foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men."
Since we are not just diagnosing the disorders of the ailing American family, but looking also for adequate correctives or treatments, what would you consider an appropriate prescription for this one? Well for sure, it is going to take more than a psychological band-aid. Oh, there is no doubt about what we have heard prescribed if the illness were a matter of heart disease, or a kidney disorder, or cancer, or something like that. We would go immediately and directly without a moment's hesitation to the proven remedy, which is the case; and in this case we would return to the biblical family. These modern, so-called family types just aren’t working; and. if you want permanence, go to the will of God. His way is proven. It has been around a long, long time.
One thing we learn from Bible study is that God hates divorce (Malachi chapter 2, verse 16 He says so). And we read from Matthew chapter 19 awhile ago what Jesus, our Lord, said about that. When asked if a person might divorce his wife for every cause, He answered, No, it had never been so with God, not from the beginning. So, when we agree to be married, we drop the word "divorce" from our vocabulary. It just isn't even an alternative, friend. Because we know God hates divorce and Jesus said not to do it, ours is not a trial-and-error scheme; we plan our marriage "till death do us part" on the Word of God. It is the conviction to do the will of God, because of who God is, that is lacking in many marriages.
Oh, I know lots of people get divorces. Some get more than one, two, three, four, five, whatever. If that is the way you choose to live your life, it is your choice, of course. But right and wrong have never been decided by popular opinion or by what’s "everybody's doing." You won't go wrong by doing marriage God's way. Knowing God's will on any subject, and being pre-disposed to do it in life, is more-- far more-- than half the distance to the goal line. You see, it takes faith in God and in His word to do right. That is the substantive foundation for life. You can't build a successful marriage on this fluff stuff, all of this "how-to" stuff you read in the magazines.
Finally, another possible cause of family disintegration is too high expectations. Perhaps some people who were brought up in what they considered a "dysfunctional family," have plans and hopes for a perfect one of their own when they marry. And when it doesn't happen, the disappointment is too great; they are ready to end it and declare marriage and family a bad cause and an unworthy adventure. My friend, there are no "perfect" marriages. You see they all consist of people with habits and faults just like you and I have. Since there are no perfect people, there are no perfect families. There are some good families, some exceptionally good families, some beautiful families, but no perfect ones. And the stability of the best families is due to the conformity to the best way of life the world has ever discovered-- the one of love and joy and peace and patience and understanding and just living the Lord's way. Just remember, Marriage Is Honorable in all. And, only you can improve your marriage. May you have the best. Let’s pray. Holy Father, thank You for the institution of marriage and for the blessings that we have in following Your way for marriage in our lives. In the lovely name of Jesus, we thank You. Amen!
From what I am reading in both the secular and religious media, it seems just about everyone, from the left and the right, is alarmed at the failure of the American family here in the beginning of the twenty-first century. Oh, why has the dearest institution of all to us become such a disappointment to so many of us? Perhaps the answer lies, in part at least, to the turn from the permanence of what is often called the "traditional family" (what I prefer to call the "Biblical family") to acceptance of less stable or contemporary family forms, such as cohabiting couples and gay and lesbian marriages and other very loosely constructed marriages, which I personally believe are unworthy of mention as family. These are admittedly less stable family structures, but they seem to be increasingly the choice of many who demand multiple choices. When we choose an unstable family form, we shouldn't be too surprised or disappointed when ours is unstable, too. God's way works best, when people choose to make it their way and their work. Admittedly, there isn't enough teaching from the Bible about family. Some of the sermons on the subject that I have heard in recent years, sounded as if they were lifted right out of Psychology 1 textbook, abundantly peppered with some funny stories along the way. I know that much of our modern thinking rejects the Bible. I know that! But, I also know "The foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men;" and God's word will prevail if we will teach it enough. Much of the failure of the family is simply the absence of faith, faith in God, faith in Jesus Christ as His only begotten Son and the Bible as His inspired word. And that faith comes from hearing the word of God (Romans 10:17). O yes, we simply must have more biblical teaching and preaching and more acceptance of God’s Word!
If you would like a free audio cassette tape or a CD-- or a free printed copy of today's program, Marriage Is Honorable, you may have it; and you will see the address and the telephone number and all as we close this program. So you may watch for it. Say, we are so glad that you were with us today. We pray that you are living in a happy family and a happy home; and we pray that God’s blessings on you. God bless you now. We love you.
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